In my recent visit to Kathmandu, Nepal I had the opportunity to share the gifts, skills and impact of generative listening with students, teachers and a small group of business leaders within the Tibetan Community. I visited Namgyal High School, Namgyal Middle School and the Alumni Association Executive Team Members. In preparation for my trip, I thought about what might some of the cultural differences be and the role they play in listening across Eastern and Western cultures.
It seems cultural differences definitely play a significant role in shaping the way people listen and communicate in both Eastern and Western cultures. Some broad differences include:
- Individualism vs. collectivism : Western cultures, particularly those in Europe and North America, tend to prioritise individualism, where personal expression and speaking out are valued. In such cultures, listening may involve active engagement with the speaker but also a willingness to assert one’s own thoughts and opinions. In contrast, Eastern cultures, such as those in East Asia, often emphasise collectivism, where harmony and group cohesion are highly valued. In these cultures, listening may involve more passive attentiveness and deference to the speaker, with less emphasis on expressing one’s own thoughts.
- Direct vs. indirect communication : Western cultures generally favor direct communication, where speakers express their thoughts and opinions explicitly. As a result, listeners are often expected to respond with clarity and directness. In Eastern cultures, communication tends to be more indirect, with speakers using subtle cues and context to convey their meaning. This can require listeners to be attuned to nonverbal cues and to read between the lines.
- Hierarchy and authority : In many Eastern cultures, there is a greater respect for hierarchy and authority. This can influence listening behaviours, with listeners showing deference to those perceived to be of higher status or authority. In contrast, Western cultures may have more egalitarian attitudes, where individuals are encouraged to challenge authority and express their own viewpoints.
- Silence and pause : Silence carries different meanings in different cultures. In some Eastern cultures, silence is often valued as a form of respect or contemplation, and listeners may pause for extended periods before responding. In Western cultures, silence can sometimes be interpreted as awkward or uncomfortable, and there may be more pressure to fill the gaps in conversation.
- Nonverbal communication : Both Eastern and Western cultures use nonverbal cues in communication, but the interpretation of these cues can vary. For example, eye contact may be seen as a sign of attentiveness and respect in Western cultures, while in some Eastern cultures, prolonged eye contact can be considered rude or confrontational.
These are broad generalisations, and individual communication styles can vary widely within both Eastern and Western cultures. Additionally, globalisation and increased cross-cultural interaction are leading to greater awareness and adaptation of different communication styles across cultures.
My experience of sharing the gifts of generative listening with the teachers at Namgyal Middle School, a Tibetan Refugee School in Kathmandu was their high engagement, commitment and willingness to discover afresh for themselves the impact of listening deeply to another. We engaged in activities to develop the skills and recognising what gets in the way of deep listening (our listening biases) and how we overcome these with key principles of listening to generate the finest thinking in others. The outcome of our experience together was shared with me from the Headmistress, Mrs Dorjey Choeden:
“It was such a pleasure and privilege to interact with you. You are such an amazing and inspiring woman . I will always cherish the moment we spent together in school. Today, I asked to my children about the listening coach and their feedback was just incredible and appreciating the way you conducted the workshop. They have learnt like keeping eye contact positively and softly while conversation. The teachers were saying that they didn’t even realize the time spent along you. It flew so fast. The content is just enriching and knowing ourselves so that we could improve ourselves in listening and other qualities which is needed to be perfect human like appreciating each other, leaving ego, not to be judgmental etc.
Lastly , I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to you and your family for the contribution you have been providing in Tibetan society for many years.”
I learned afresh that listening is a universal skill with universal impact. The context in which we are listening will make a difference and our cultural habits will also play a role. Neither reduce the positive impact deep listening has on the lives of others reflecting dignity and enabling others to feel who they are matters, profoundly.
Thank you for listening.
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